Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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