if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize