we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
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It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
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He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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