Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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