it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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