If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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