Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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