Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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