It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize