Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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