Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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