The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize