it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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