he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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