Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize