I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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