____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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