I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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