So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize