my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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