Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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