no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize