I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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