is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
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Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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