I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
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i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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