yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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