Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize