just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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