so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize