I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize