Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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