If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize