No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize