I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
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Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
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I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm too high and old for this...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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