so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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