So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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