maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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