Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize