Texts From Last Night

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  (907): View more from Alaska

  so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?

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  (907): so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go? http://tfl.nu/synh
  Replies (12) Good night (563) Bad night (2253) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz

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  (313): mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz http://tfl.nu/kyga
  Replies (21) Good night (457) Bad night (1622) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.

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  (203): 'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/k9vf
  Replies (15) Good night (631) Bad night (3541) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.

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  (256): I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed. http://tfl.nu/zn1y
  Replies (31) Good night (1009) Bad night (9535) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.

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  (908): Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim. http://tfl.nu/snt6
  Replies (21) Good night (1065) Bad night (3875) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.

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  (937): I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand. http://tfl.nu/sj9u
  Replies (31) Good night (8292) Bad night (607) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it

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  (408): Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it http://tfl.nu/ddbo
  Replies (13) Good night (1460) Bad night (4654) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy

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  (574): He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy http://tfl.nu/cwdv
  Replies (13) Good night (4521) Bad night (698) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.

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  (813): His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up. http://tfl.nu/2dvo
  Replies (1) Good night (2590) Bad night (752)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.

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  (630): I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy. http://tfl.nu/cb6u
  Replies (5) Good night (1180) Bad night (2608) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.

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  (920): I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly. http://tfl.nu/qe62
  Replies (18) Good night (1186) Bad night (2559) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.

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  (910): Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job. http://tfl.nu/jru8
  Replies (6) Good night (3066) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.

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  (570): I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison. http://tfl.nu/ax4a
  Replies (13) Good night (2383) Bad night (1304) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening

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  (540): I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening http://tfl.nu/76la
  Replies (3) Good night (657) Bad night (1442) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch

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  (609): I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch http://tfl.nu/jghc
  Replies (7) Good night (2374) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt

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