I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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