new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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