i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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