She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize