im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize