I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize