At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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