Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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