I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize