i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize