The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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